in betwixt

looking for me?

2009-10-19T18:23:00.001-07:00

ehhhhh, what's up doc?

2009-08-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

snapshots of my interior terrain at the moment, in no particular order:

still fending off anxiety [okay, panic really] about various grown-up/real world situations which are far from resolved, but trying not to let that get in the way of some day-to-day quality of life for me and la familia.
feeling good about where all 4 kids are at the moment. Leah's speaking is progressing rapidly -- definitely no language issues -- just pronounciation ones. Jayla's really looking forward to 1st grade [as am I, on her behalf]. I think it will be good for her in many ways. Jared and Chris both seem happy both are growing in ways I am proud of. Yay mom!
trying to achieve 3 "c's" every day: clean somethin', create somethin', cross somethin' off my to-do list.
feel myself shedding the moderate depressive episode I was suffering through much of the spring and into the summer...
so happy with this purchase that it's worth blogging about: wearing this:
,
Leah at not yet 3 can be in the pool where she can't stand without me physically in the water. I can jsut "life gaurd" next to the pool. She gets to swim with sis and brother and I don't have to get in the water! woo hoo! and she really can tread water and doggie paddle very well with it on!
found my first grey hairs. was surprisingly okay with it. yes I am into my 40s. i will never be 22 again. or 32 for that matter. am determined to love who i am and where i am now. it has helped hanging out with some fabulous creative and sexy women in the same age range. determined to do more of that.
learning to be selfish in positive ways rather than destructive ones. ways that feed me so that i can feed others.

errghhh... need to take potty break with Leah. she's toilet-learning wonderfully, but insists on an audience each and every time.

random ten things on my mind at the moment

2009-06-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

a (current) random ten things to share with you at the moment:

(1) I have continued to cut my hair. Most of you reading this would be shocked at how short it is. Really there are only 2 people previous to this who have ever seen my hair this short -- Bruce L. [who was with me in San Fran, 20-some years ago when I cut it like this before my trip to Africa, and Lynn S. whom I traveled with in Africa.] I like it. Well, I like it short -- and I like the overall shape -- but I feel it could use some fine-tuning by a professional. though that's unlikely to happen.

(2) I feel thinner than I have in a while. Result of walking the dogs between 1 and 2 miles [almost] every day. Unfortunately neither the scale nor my clothes agree. yet.

(3) Despite the fact that I have more energy and volition than I have had in years, I feel like I am not making progress. in areas that i would like to progress.

(4) I want my very own [ok, I'd share it with John and the kids] in-ground, private pool outside my back door, more than [almost] anything else. It is extremely unlikely to ever happen.

(5) Was excited to find that some of the eggs the chickens have been sitting on for the last weeks have actually hatched!! Three so far today! We've hatched plenty of chicks from our own chickens this year -- but always in the incubator. These were the first ones the ladies did themselves!! I was very proud of them.

(6) I FINALLY [after receiving a more than mildly threatening letter from the county] made Jared's homeschooling "official" with the school system. Only 7 mo late!

(7) I feel hopeless about the prospects of getting the house/chaos/mess under control. At this point I am hoping for a miracle. Like a roving good-samaritan-house-cleaning crew that wanders down Orrison Road and wants to do a good deed. Or Ed McMahan knocking on my door with a big fat check.

(8) Having a teen driver is terrifying. CB is good at it, but STILL. A car is freakin' DEADLY. Who on earth thought that teenagers should be able to drive? Now that I am helping someone learn, I realize how freakin' dangerous the whole activity really is -- and how many of us probably shouldn't be behind the wheel.

okay, i promised 10 things, but have to make a bus stop run...

feeling stymied and sad

2009-05-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

So, here's the deal.
Following UNHCR on twitter.
Rec'd tweet this am, that:"UNHCR is urgently seeking shade cloth and poles to construct sun screens in #Pakistan as part of a summerization program."
So I tweeted back: "@Refugees send a contact e-mail and i will forward request to US shade manufacturers and ask for donation."
Then I googled shade screen manufacturers and found a handful.
@Refugees send me contact info at USA for UNHCR.
I tweeted back: "@Refugees rec'd contact info. Will ask for in-kind donations for shades from manufacts. could use photos/stories to demo the need for them"
@Refugees tweeted this link to me almost immediately: pakistan photos
I did a quick google cram here and here and here to educate myself, wrote a few talking points and called these guys.

Had a great convo with a dude named Joe who was willing to consider an in-kind donation to UNHCR for the displaced families in Pakistan. Told him I would get back to him with the hows. Figured there were plenty more shade manufacturers I could hit up as well.

Still hadn't heard from USA for UNHCR folks so I called them.

VERY disheartening.

Bottom line: "The logistics of in-kind donations are too hard. That's why we ask for money."

I said, "but some folks don't have money but they have stuff sitting in warehouses."

They said. "Sorry, that's the way it works."

She didn't even ask me my name.

I want to make clear that the folls I spoke to were the independent non-profit based in the US to support the UNHCR. They were NOT official UNHCR folks. Those folks have offices in Geneva -- and it was their tweet [and from their on-the ground folks in Pakistan] that I originally heard from and was trying to help.

SO frustrating. It's like, there are planes, right? And for freak's sake - Hillary Clinton this week called for americans to use their cell phones to donate $5 toward the humanitarian crisis in Pakistan. And these folks are being displaced because the Pakistani gov't is fighting the Taliban and other extremist/terrorist groups at our request...

So now I have to call Joe back and tell him not to bother 'cause we can't get the freakin' sun shade material to the families sitting in 100 degree plus sun homeless in Pakistan.

Target to continue giving 5% of profits to charity

2009-02-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

Target to continue giving 5% of profits to charity

Look, I'm not a huge Target fan. I think the quality of their clothing has really declined since I first started buying my "mom" clothes there 9 years ago. But the prices at my local Super-Target for groceries are excellent, so I find myself there at least once a month. I am, however, very grateful that at a time that so many companies are laying off employees and charities are seeing increased need and decreased donations -- Target is managing to keep their generous giving program open.

thoughts at 2:00 am

2009-02-02T23:00:00.000-08:00

1. i love "burn notice." now watching my 3rd straight episode in a row.
2. i don't know how i will manage to correct my sleep schedule at this point. especially seeing as i don't seem to want to. what i really want is not to need more than about 5 hours sleep a night.
3. being a grown up is both much better and much worse than i ever expected.
4. if i want to be asleep before 3:00 am, I probably shouldn't be cracking open another diet coke at 2:00 am.
5. i would really like another dog. a big scary-looking one that is really a cuddle-muffin. but i am afraid that's not fair to Gina. Who is about 15 years old, fairly deaf, with failing eyesight. So, we're just kind of waiting for her to pass. Which is kind of a bummer place to be in relation to your dog that is generally healthy if completely and totally geriatric.
6. i think the best part of "burn notice" is Michael Weston's voice-overs and Jeffrey Donovan's smile.

No matter who you support ...

2008-09-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

Please take a look at this:

An excellent website to get the FACTS -- on both the Dem and Rep tickets...

There's a lot of untruth out there.

New York to recognize gay marriages - CNN.com

2008-05-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

New York to recognize gay marriages - CNN.com

is that the sound of a tide turning?

so few news headlines actually bring me real hope for our current trajectory.

this one does.

i really dislike

2008-05-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

how warm i get when i use my laptop on my lap.

Major changes urged in transracial adoption

2008-05-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

The Associated Press: Major changes urged in transracial adoption

I agree with the new recommendations. fwiw.

A key recommendation in the new report calls for amending the law so race could be considered as a factor in selecting parents for children from foster care. The change also would allow race-oriented pre-adoption training.

2008-05-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

hang in there buster...

i adore you and i'm not ready to say good-bye...

One day ...

2008-05-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

when I have enough free time to learn a new craft.

This is what I will learn to make myself...

Favorite Discovery of the Day

2008-05-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Junk Creation

My new favorite blog for inspiration and ideas...

in the 7-11 today ...

2008-05-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

I was pleasantly startled by the TIME Magazine cover.

I wonder if Hillary knows.

Btw: I was steadfastly undecided between the two Democratic front runners for months and months. I didn't even vote in the VA primary [well I was also out-of-town at the last minute -- but even if I hadn't been, I had no idea who I preferred.] I've never been a Hillary-hater. In fact, I used to admire her.

But. Two things happened. One, Barak Obama's courageous speech on race after the Rev. Wright brouhaha. Two, Hillary Clinton's slow seepage into the kind of slimy and selfish political shenanigans the likes of which I honestly could not believe I was seeing from her. She has absolutely and defintively played the "race card" in a most unattractive [oh, heck ... downright detestable] way. Over the last 6 to 8 weeks, using even the kindest and most forgiving filter I could, I still cannot see her campaign as anything other than unprincipled, selfish and desperate. She knows she's going down, and she doesn't seem to care who she takes with her. And that's heartbreaking.

But, folks, don't be alarmed. If by some freak and undemocratic manuever, she does end up with the nomination, I will indeed be pulling the lever for a Democrat come November. Because, a selfish, self-serving Democrat still seems a better bet than a Bush-Republican. And by "better bet," I mean: less likely to have us at war with Iran, less likely to continue to allow the oil interests in this country to have their way with the us and the environment, and more likely to actually stop to see if her administration's policies are hurting or helping the most vulnerable among us.

this is my life ...

2008-05-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

there are not enough expletives in my vocabulary

2008-05-22T08:19:00.001-07:00

to express my disdain and frustration and disgust with our bank.

they have your money, they make the rules, and the deck is so heavily stacked in their favor that i feel like withdrawing all our money and sticking it under the mattress.

seriously.

seriously freakin' PO'D!!!!!!!!

and this is how I feel *after* I win the fight to get them to refund the TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN OVERDRAFT FEES they charged us while they held a perfectly good check from my ils made to save our skin -- while at the same time only giving us HALF the overdraft protection we usually get!!!!

i rock

2008-05-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

i just created the above blog banner all by my lonesome using the confounding adobe photoshop elements. i say confounding because despite the fact that i am a very quick study when it comes to most software i've ever tried ... any version of photoshop has always kicked my butt.

why the heck?

2008-05-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

trying to consolidate or at least organize my on-line life.

so many facets to it.

the store website, the store blog, LJ, facebook, linked-in, plus 3 to 4 more "professional" networking sites ...

A couple of weeks ago i created a tumblog because I thought it would be an easy platform to use to capture things I wanted to share that were kind of off-topic for my store blog, but didn't need the privacy of LJ. And while I like the easy, light feel of tumblr and its interface ... it's felt burdensome to have yet another site to manage.

so, since i've found the blogger interface manageable, and i've been groovin' on how well integrated a lot of the [free!] google services and products are ... well ... I thought I would try the "in between" blog here -- instead of tumblr.

Hence here I am again ...